Sexual Violence

A quick fore word. While I was traveling I used this blog to update everyone about my travels but now I want to switch the focus to more opinion related items that I want to write about. I did a few of these before so I'm thinking that will be the format of the new ones I will write. Ok, on to the real post:

I guess I'll begin this post with a little confession. I don't really take my personal security into account when walking home late, or if I'm going to be out in the dark by myself. Especially when I am in a city I consider to be "home". Apple Valley, Ames, Dunedin are all cities that I would consider to be safe enough for me to walk homer at 3am drunk and not have to worry about anything. However, I will always walk a girl home of she asks me, not really because I think she won't be safe but more just because it's nice to walk and have someone to talk to.Now, I have come to realize that the only reason I am so relaxed about this is because I have never experienced anything that would lead me to believe anything bad would happen to me. Other people are not so lucky.

I just read an exchange on Facebook between one of my friends and one of her friends in which they describe the times that they have actually been assaulted, been catcalled, felt unsafe, or had to take preventative measures to make themselves feel safe in their own home. The exchange began after my friend posted this video on Facebook.

Now, this is a relatively foreign concept to me, and I think that speaks volumes about the depth of this problem. Now I'm not saying that I didn't know that sexual crimes didn't exist, or that they are not pervasive, but I just always pictured them as far away or not affecting the people I care about in such an intense manner. Here are some of the conversation (I got permission from my friend to use the text):  

"I get teased for not drinking a lot when I go to the bars with friends.
"She's too responsible" my friend says as he stumbles next to me.
Yep, because someone has to keep me and my super drunk girlfriend from getting assaulted.
I hate Ames. I freaking got assaulted on my motherf***ing birthday while at a bar but I couldn't figure out WHICH guy in the group standing next to me and staring at me did it. Bunch of f***ing perverts. I had to pass by them again to get out and whoever did it, did it again. I wanted to vomit and beat the s**t out of someone. I'm never, ever, f***ing ever wearing a skirt out."

"I've been followed to my car, I got literally chased by an angry man into the gym (wouldn't respond to him). I never wear both earbuds, I always have a knife (my excuse is I work in a greenhouse) and I actually do the "honey I'm home!" if there's this certain guy out in the hall or "I'll be back in a few minutes babe" when I'm leaving and he's out. I have no problems glaring at strange men anymore (let them think I'm a b***h). I do the same thing with my car, and check under sometimes even (I'm glad it's a jeep). I ALWAYS walk "confidently" because I don't want to look weak and vulnerable.
Yeah, a lot of times I wish I was fat and unattractive, too. Some guy made a comment about pulling on my hair once and I was so tempted to pull out my knife and just shear it off then and there, Mulan-style. Ugh. I get so tired of having to watch my back all the time. And then you get those guy friends who tell you you're overreacting or don't even think about it when you glare and motion at them across the bar to "Get the f**k over here NOW"."

 I see something seriously wrong with this situation. When a woman feels so unsafe in her own skin that they wish they could change it to become uglier just because they are being constantly harassed and assaulted by men is horrific. The fact that members of my gender make women feel so horribly makes me feel sick. Seriously, when was the last time you felt so unsafe being yourself that you wanted to change who you are. If you are a man, I doubt you ever have, or at least I haven't. This feeling of danger is a crime perpetrated against half of the human beings on this planet. This does not just negatively effect women. Our whole society suffers when we persecute any part of it and make it feel unsafe, insecure, or scared.

Women are men's equals in every respect and deserve so much better than cat calls, leers, and assaults. I challenge anyone reading this to take this issue to heart and work on making everyone feel safe. The only way we will solve this problem is with a concerted effort by everyone to look at their behavior and eliminate any threatening or demeaning actions from what they deem to be acceptable, and hold everyone around them to that same standard. Being drunk is no excuse, being with the "bro's" is no excuse, being horny is no excuse. You are not an animal, you do not rely on base instincts to survive, so don't let them control you. The only failure will be silently standing by and letting this domestic terrorism continue. Don't be afraid to stand up for anyone, a "no" from two people is more powerful than a "no" from one. Even if they don't or can't say anything at the time, they will be grateful to you for helping them, so do the world a favor and help make it a better place for us all.