Sexual Violence

A quick fore word. While I was traveling I used this blog to update everyone about my travels but now I want to switch the focus to more opinion related items that I want to write about. I did a few of these before so I'm thinking that will be the format of the new ones I will write. Ok, on to the real post:

I guess I'll begin this post with a little confession. I don't really take my personal security into account when walking home late, or if I'm going to be out in the dark by myself. Especially when I am in a city I consider to be "home". Apple Valley, Ames, Dunedin are all cities that I would consider to be safe enough for me to walk homer at 3am drunk and not have to worry about anything. However, I will always walk a girl home of she asks me, not really because I think she won't be safe but more just because it's nice to walk and have someone to talk to.Now, I have come to realize that the only reason I am so relaxed about this is because I have never experienced anything that would lead me to believe anything bad would happen to me. Other people are not so lucky.

I just read an exchange on Facebook between one of my friends and one of her friends in which they describe the times that they have actually been assaulted, been catcalled, felt unsafe, or had to take preventative measures to make themselves feel safe in their own home. The exchange began after my friend posted this video on Facebook.

Now, this is a relatively foreign concept to me, and I think that speaks volumes about the depth of this problem. Now I'm not saying that I didn't know that sexual crimes didn't exist, or that they are not pervasive, but I just always pictured them as far away or not affecting the people I care about in such an intense manner. Here are some of the conversation (I got permission from my friend to use the text):  

"I get teased for not drinking a lot when I go to the bars with friends.
"She's too responsible" my friend says as he stumbles next to me.
Yep, because someone has to keep me and my super drunk girlfriend from getting assaulted.
I hate Ames. I freaking got assaulted on my motherf***ing birthday while at a bar but I couldn't figure out WHICH guy in the group standing next to me and staring at me did it. Bunch of f***ing perverts. I had to pass by them again to get out and whoever did it, did it again. I wanted to vomit and beat the s**t out of someone. I'm never, ever, f***ing ever wearing a skirt out."

"I've been followed to my car, I got literally chased by an angry man into the gym (wouldn't respond to him). I never wear both earbuds, I always have a knife (my excuse is I work in a greenhouse) and I actually do the "honey I'm home!" if there's this certain guy out in the hall or "I'll be back in a few minutes babe" when I'm leaving and he's out. I have no problems glaring at strange men anymore (let them think I'm a b***h). I do the same thing with my car, and check under sometimes even (I'm glad it's a jeep). I ALWAYS walk "confidently" because I don't want to look weak and vulnerable.
Yeah, a lot of times I wish I was fat and unattractive, too. Some guy made a comment about pulling on my hair once and I was so tempted to pull out my knife and just shear it off then and there, Mulan-style. Ugh. I get so tired of having to watch my back all the time. And then you get those guy friends who tell you you're overreacting or don't even think about it when you glare and motion at them across the bar to "Get the f**k over here NOW"."

 I see something seriously wrong with this situation. When a woman feels so unsafe in her own skin that they wish they could change it to become uglier just because they are being constantly harassed and assaulted by men is horrific. The fact that members of my gender make women feel so horribly makes me feel sick. Seriously, when was the last time you felt so unsafe being yourself that you wanted to change who you are. If you are a man, I doubt you ever have, or at least I haven't. This feeling of danger is a crime perpetrated against half of the human beings on this planet. This does not just negatively effect women. Our whole society suffers when we persecute any part of it and make it feel unsafe, insecure, or scared.

Women are men's equals in every respect and deserve so much better than cat calls, leers, and assaults. I challenge anyone reading this to take this issue to heart and work on making everyone feel safe. The only way we will solve this problem is with a concerted effort by everyone to look at their behavior and eliminate any threatening or demeaning actions from what they deem to be acceptable, and hold everyone around them to that same standard. Being drunk is no excuse, being with the "bro's" is no excuse, being horny is no excuse. You are not an animal, you do not rely on base instincts to survive, so don't let them control you. The only failure will be silently standing by and letting this domestic terrorism continue. Don't be afraid to stand up for anyone, a "no" from two people is more powerful than a "no" from one. Even if they don't or can't say anything at the time, they will be grateful to you for helping them, so do the world a favor and help make it a better place for us all.

Final Thoughts

As I am writing this, it is officially my last few hours in Dunedin. Almost everyone else has left and this place feels like a ghost town in some post apocalyptic movie. It's windy and we don't have heat, the food in my flat is almost gone, all the windows are dark. I am so excited to get home and get out of this eerie place. I already miss everyone so much.

It also occurred to me that so many things end as they begin. I will be flying into Auckland this morning and flying out of Auckland tomorrow morning very early. I slept on a couch in my sleeping bag last night, much like I slept on the floor in a hostel my first night in New Zealand. I used my travel deodorant for the first time since my travels almost five months ago and just that smell brought back so many memories of getting up in the early morning, nervous and excited to see what adventures awaited that day.

New Zealand is a wonderful place, and many of the places and people here will always hold a special place in my heart for the role they played in not only my education, but my development into the person I am now and the person I will be later in life. I never thought it was possible to get so close to complete strangers from across the globe so quickly and just how much these people would mean to me at the end of my stay here. Anyone from 378, my doors are always open and my couch is always available.

It is a weird feeling, leaving here. As I said earlier I'm excited to get home, but I also wish we could get everyone back together again for one more night. It's bittersweet knowing that what I got to experience was so amazing, but it will also never be the same again. There is a time and a place for everything and there is no place I would rather have spent my last 139 days than in Dunedin with my complex.

In short, I love you all and I hope that between now and when I see you again that you are prosperous and happy.

All the best,

-Sam

The World of Complex 378 Leith St.

My New Tattoo

I got my second tattoo yesterday as a sort of culmination of all the life changing events I have experienced here in New Zealand. I got a traditional Maori design that represents my "whakapapa" (the "wh" is pronounced like a "f") or genealogy. The Maori put a great deal of emphasis on ancestry and where you came from. Many Maori could trace their lineage back 10 or 15 generations some even to the first explorers that colonized New Zealand. This tracing of heritage gave them an identity and was almost a religion for the Maori. My tattoo is much smaller than a traditional male Maori tattoo, which would cover all of the thigh and buttocks. My tattoo symbolizes my two parents with the two large fern buds in the negative space between the blocks. They are touching to symbolize the connection between them that is me. The silver fern itself is a powerful symbol for the Maori where it shows guidance and wisdom.

The canvas

The design

The finished product

All Blacks and the Nude Blacks

Yesterday was a busy day in Dunedin. The All Blacks, New Zealand's national rugby team, played a test match against England at Forsyth Barr Stadium. They beat England 28-27 and continued their two year unbeaten streak. The All Blacks are famous for their Haka. It is a traditonal Maori war dance that is basically a challenge and a threat to the other team. Here is a video of the All Blacks doing the Kapa O Pango Haka to the Australian Rugby team. This is the same Haka they did last night.

You can see the players sticking their tongues out during the chant, this was a way for the Maori to say that they were going to eat you, the Maori did practice cannabilism. They also do throat slitting motions at the end which means exactly what you think it means. It is an incredibly powerful intimidation technique and it was crazy to see it live. My friends who weren't at the game said they could hear the Haka blocks away.There are different Hakas done at different games, another famous and popular one is called Ka Mate.

Here are the lyrics to the Kapa O Pango Haka and what they mean:

Kapa O Pango Haka:

This haka was first performed by the All Blacks versus South Africa on 27 August 2005 at Carisbrook, Dunedin. The All Blacks won 31 - 27. This Haka was written by Ngati Porou's Derek Lardelli. This Haka will only be performed before special test matches.

Kapa o pango kia whakawhenua au i ahau!

Let me become one with the land

Hi aue, hi!

Ko Aotearoa e ngunguru nei!

This is our land that rumbles

Au, au, aue ha!

And it's my time! It's my moment!

Ko Kapa o Pango e ngunguru nei!

This defines us as the All Blacks

Au, au, aue ha!

It's my time! It's my moment!

I ahaha!

Ka tu te ihiihi

Our dominance

Ka tu te wanawana

Our supremacy will triumph

Ki runga ki te rangi e tu iho nei, tu iho nei, hi!

And will be placed on high

Ponga ra!

Silver fern!

Kapa o Pango, aue hi!

All Blacks!

Ponga ra!

Silver fern!

Kapa o Pango, aue hi, ha!

All Blacks!

The All Blacks defending against and English advance

Before the game, a charity match was held between the Nude Blacks and England. Basically it was 14 naked men playing rugby in the middle of the city. Children were in attendance and it was pretty hilarious. They had the "Queen" make an appearance and she made plentiful dick jokes. They had a blind referee, a literal blind woman as the referee, and of course, a naked announcer. They did a naked Haka, the Maori war dance that the All Blacks do at the beginning of every game.

 This next picture is from the Nude Blacks game and is NSFW.

The Nude Blacks lining up before the game

My International Family

For the past four months I have been incredibly lucky living with some of the most awesome people in New Zealand. They say that it doesn't matter where you go as long as you're with good company and I have to say that couldn't be more true. My international family has made New Zealand more than just a destination, but rather a home away from home. I will miss these people more than I thought I would after knowing them for only a few months. They are some of the best, kindest, craziest people I know and I wouldn't trade these past four months of friendship and adventure for anything in the world. I will miss these guys so much. 378 Leith St will forever be a great memory for me.

My Family

Stop light flat picture

The men

The ladies and I at Queenstown

The complex

Claire's birthday

Ben, my kiwi host, and I

Ella, my other kiwi host, and I

Colin, from NY, and I

Lia, from NYC, and I

Jaci, from Western Washington, and I

Claire, Lia and I

Thrift shop party

Peninsula picture

Just goofing around

Flat as pirates for Jaci's birthday